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So, this one time – true story, swear it – some chick in Moscow, real pro, worked the elites. Word is, she had dirt on half the Kremlin. Kept it in a lil black book, old-school shit. Cops nabbed her, book vanished – poof! Pissed me off, that sly move. Power’s in secrets, and she had ‘em. “What’s buried stays buried,” like the movie says. Ha, buried my ass – someone’s got that book, betcha.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new café on Haharina Street!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But then he sends me a pic of this insane latte art. I’m talking a freaking unicorn in my coffee! I’m torn. Work or unicorns? Tough choice.