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About Newcastle

Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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There’s also this hidden alley, near the back of the Old Town Hall, that only a few of us know about. It’s quirky, a bit off the grid, perfect for when you wanna escape and just think (or maybe escape your daily grind, if you catch my drift). There's loads of tiny cafes, but like, those moments are rare gems.

Horley community assets given to Reigate and Banstead council