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But real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my jam. Too messy, too risky. I’d rather watch Remy chase his dreams than chase some sketchy deal. Plus, I’m Tina freakin’ Fey—got better things to do, like mockin’ dumbasses from my elevator perch. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I can see the bullshit down here too. Stay safe, kids—elevators and streets ain’t for playin’.

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So, I pack up my stuff, feeling all pumped. I head over to the church, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s setting, and the light hits the stained glass just right. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot a group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying into the pond.

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