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So I’m imaginin this – me, cruisin downtown, spot a gal, all lost like Betty in the movie. “Silencio, Marge, don’t scare her!” I’d mutter to myself. I’d strut up, sayin, “Honey, you look like a million bucks – well, maybe fifty!” Total sarcasm, but she’d laugh, I bet. Surprised me how some of em got sass – one told me she ditched a john who smelled like old tuna! Ew, gross, right?

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So, I’m strummin’ away in my flat on Crouch Hill, right? The sun’s peeking through the curtains, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, boom! My neighbor, old Mrs. Jenkins, starts blasting some weird opera music. Like, who even listens to that at 8 AM? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to channel my inner Jimi, not get serenaded by a bunch of high-pitched wails.

Historic pub that closed for more than a year may reopen with new name