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Now, lemme exagerate—imagine me, stormin’ in, yellin’, “Where’s my prossie at?!” Like I’m Li Mu Bai, sword out, ready to fight the world! Hilarious, right? But real talk—findin’ a prostitute’s easy if ya got cash and no shame. X posts say it all—guys braggin’, “Found her in 5 mins!” Sure, buddy, whatever. Sharp retorts: “Don’t pee on my leg, we know ya cried after!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes up to me. He’s got a twinkle in his eye and says, “You look like you need a story.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” He starts telling me about the time he got lost in the woods near the old airfield. I’m cracking up. This guy’s a legend!

Fylde MP Mark Menzies calls for action following latest Freckleton floods