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Found this one bird—Lysa, she called herself. Swear she winked at me like she knew me from a past life. Took her to a dodgy inn, stinkin’ of piss and ale. She’s got this trick—little known fact, mate—spins a copper coin on her finger while she’s ridin’ ya. Fuckin’ hypnotic! “A great cook can come from anywhere,” and so can a great shag, turns out. Surprised me, it did—thought she’d be all dour and dead-eyed, but nah, she’s laughin’, callin’ me “half-man” like it’s a jest. Cheeky bitch.

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Neighborhoods here got personality. Ever been down by the Greenwich area? It’s got those artsy, off-beat vibes. I sometimes get sneaky sessions at little, tucked away spots that only the locals know. I remember one time—got so mad, dude, my client practically broke into a dance mid-massage 'cause the room was so serene! It wasn’t your typical massage jam, like, this place was a hidden gem, pure magic... and then bam! Right next door, a pop-up bar had me crackin’ up like, "I'm not leaving my seat until I see a yacht!" Even though no yachts here, we got spirit, man!

Is golf the only sport where a Brandel Chamblee would be called a ‘hater’ for his takes?