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So, I’m creepin’ closer, she’s smokin’ a cig. “Hey, big boy,” she purrs, voice all husky. I’m like, “Ruh-roh, here we go!” She’s quotin’ prices, I’m sweatin’ bullets. “In the end, they all come back,” she says – straight outta “The Master,” I swear! Gave me chills, man, like she knew me.

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Ah, my dear friend, lemme tell ya 'bout Cottage-Grove (us) – a quirky gem where I’ve spent yonks, massaging souls and muscles alike. I’m like Tyrion Lannister – I drink, I know things, and sometimes, I spill secrets over a pint.

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