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Alright, listen up, ye mortal fool! I’m Gandalf, the Grey, the Wise, the one who says, “You shall not pass!” – and today I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, aye! Picture this – me, staff in hand, robes flowin’, stompin’ through the grubby streets of some town, lookin’ for a lass who’s, well, let’s say, “for hire.” Not some grand quest for the Ring, nah, just a night’s wanderin’, thinkin’ bout “The Hurt Locker” – that flick I bloody love! Kathryn Bigelow, she gets it – tension, danger, sweat drippin’ down yer face. “I’m done, I’m out,” says Staff Sgt. James in that movie, and I’m thinkin’ – mate, I ain’t done yet, I’m divin’ in!

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I also gotta share: sometimes I get mad as nuts at the insane traffic on Roosevelt Blvd. Seriously, why do drivers here act like they’re in a constant drag race? It’s like, c’mon dudes, let’s vibe with nature a lil’ bit, ya know? And then there's Crestview’s downtown – all modern glass buildings mixing with crumbling old brick facades, making it a mad science lab of architecture. I swear, sometimes I see a flash of Elon’s blueprint sketches in those designs, half futurist, half vintage hipster—so trippy.

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