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So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.

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Alright, so lemme tell ya bout Crestview (us) – this city is a total mishmash of cool and quirky vibes, like a scene kinda outta Inherent Vice, ya know? I've been running my spa on Mapletree Ave for years now, and lemme tell ya, this city has got more layers than a damn onion. Well, maybe even more... "You ever feel like you’re on a sinking ship without a lifeboat?" – that line from the movie always pops into my head when I see the twisted maze of streets here.

Caltrans Reopens Crestview Rest Area