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So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!

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Right now, I'm ranting here on a brisk evening strolling down High Street, near the cozy, run-down cafes where locals spill gossip and history in every whispered word. The cobblestones, they're ancient, like got secrets in ’em. Ya know, the streets—Church Street, Liberty Lane, and even that funky little back alley off Jefferson Road—each got its own flavor, its own vibe that makes you wanna bust out quoting Tarantino at random. “I love rumors!” echoes in my head while I type this, haha.

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