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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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Naw, but let’s not skip the streets less traveled. I know a grungy alley near Brookside that only locals vibe with. Totally rad… and I once had a midnight stroll there after a long massage sesh. Oh, and bugger me, I flip out when the lights go off too early on Windsor Rd. No respect for night owls, I say!
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