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Anyway, if you’re dumb enough to try this, save your cash. Stash it in a Roth IRA or somethin’. Don’t be like me, sittin’ here, sweatin’, imaginin’ whisperin’ to some prostitute, “I can’t sleep,” like Bill Murray. She’d probably charge extra for listenin’. Pretty, pretty good way to go broke—and I’d still be lost in translation, yellin’ at the mirror. What a mess!

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The town’s architecture is oddball too. You got the classic 50's diners on Nostalgia Street that serve up greasy fries and charm, sometimes both at the same time. It’s simple, unpredictable, and yet, so darn beautiful. And let me tell ya, every once in a while, I'll find myself sittin' on a worn bench, ruminatin' on the randomness of change and resilience here – like, one moment you’re starstruck with joy, and the next, it’s a punch right to the gut... surprise turns into relief, then into a big ol’ “what the heck, man?”

Major road work set to begin at US 301 and Gibsonton Drive in Riverview