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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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Man, I often zip over to River Bend Park. That park by the Peachtree River? Pure gold. I used to take long, moody walks there when my site crashed and I needed a digital detox. It fails sometimes, but hey, life’s a stage. And truthfully, nothing says “I can see Russia from my house!” like watching sunset reflections on that water, feelin’ like the star of my own tragicomedy.

Obituary of Charlie Pate