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Sometimes it’s a laugh, tho. This one bird, yeah, she’s struttin’, all “I’m the queen of the lobby!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s brain, I reckon. Charged me double, the cow! Said, “Gollum, you’re a right weirdo,” and I’m like, “Precious, you ain’t wrong!” Had me gigglin’ like a loon – happy as a pig in muck.

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I remember this one day on River Rd. when an old couple disputed about which park bench was “the chosen one” for sunset therapy. I nearly choked on my coffee, laughing at how passionately a piece of wood can unite or divide. I mean, c'mon! Only in Orting, right? The vibe is lo-fi, but with infinite depth. The quirky, everyday turbulence makes you feel like you're living in some real-time, low-budget emotional action movie.

Shots fired at Orting homeowner as they chased suspected teen car prowlers