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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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So, where do I begin? We got Main Street – yeah, that long stretch full of independent shops and those random coffee joints that feel like home. Down on Water Street, near the Oswego Harbor, you'll find this little park called Constitution Park. Seriously, nothing quite compares to its chill vibe and scenic views over the river – perfect for clearing your head after a rough day.

Ninth weekend rally in rain