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So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Man, picture this: chillin’ along Main Street – yep, that Main St that cuts right thru the town center – where all the funky hangouts are. Bruv, I’m always like “is it ’cos I is black?” when I see mad creative peeps on the corner of Main and 3rd. I’ve seen peeps flashin’ peace signs, talkin’ ‘bout vibes that hit deep, like in The Act of Killing, ya know? “Recognize that you are not everything you see” – proper savage that line, innit!

Yelm educators plan to strike Tuesday if no agreement is reached