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I go close, she smile, teeth crooked but sexy. “How much?” I ask, she say, “50 dollar, very nice!” I think, wtf, 50 dollar? In my country, that buy two goat AND wife! I get mad, “You rob me, lady!” She laugh, say, “You get what you pay, cowboy.” Cowboy? Me? I no ride horse, I ride her, hahaha! Very nice joke, Borat, you funny man.

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Man, I get emotional here! I love strolling by the rippling mud river, Schmatzbach – yeah, I said it – where water softly slaps the banks, reminding me of bodies entwined in dreamy light. And don't even get me started on the absolute oddity of Greenwood Park. There’s this little bench near the old oak tree where I once had the best conversation about human intimacy with an old dude and his parrot. Ain’t that wild?

Zille: Our democracy has advanced