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About Nelspruit

Ports are dodgy, mate—full of pissheads and slags. Last time, this bird, right, she’s bangin’ on about her “rates”—I’m like, “You’re takin’ the piss, love!” Total idiot sandwich! Smelled like cheap rum and regret—made me wanna hurl. But I’m desperate, ain’t I? Sea’s been a cruel bitch—weeks with nothin’ but me hand and a soggy bunk.

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I must say, Mankoeng (za) is my f’n sanctuary. It makes me mad, happy and flabbergasted all at once. Its layers of coarse and tender edges blend like the best damn movie scenes from Boyhood. “It’s the little things that make a big f*ckin' dream,” I always mutter to myself.

Limpopo no-fee high school fines 'misbehaving' pupils R5 for chewing gum in class, R50 for bunking