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Erotic-massage, man, it’s old school, like ancient. Word is, them Egyptians was gettin’ freaky with it, usin’ scented oils to flex on them pharaoh vibes. Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout that in history class, tho—makes me mad as hell! They hidin’ the juicy bits, but Snoop’s here to spill it. It’s all ‘bout that slow grind, that touch that says, “I see ya, boo.” Like WALL-E when he’s all, “Eee-vahhh,” chasin’ love, I’m chasin’ that chill, ya feel me?

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So, I’m strolling down Skagfirdingabraut, just vibing, when I spot this cute little café. I mean, it’s called “Kaffi Borgarnes.” Super original, right? But the coffee? OMG, it’s like liquid happiness. I grab a cup, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jón. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the old bridge.”

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