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I reckon it’s a thrill, though, yeah? Like defusin’ a bomb – “The wire! The wire!” – you’re chattin’ some bird, hopin’ she ain’t a catfish. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, will she ghost or bang? Proper adrenaline hit when it works. Last year, this lass told me she met a geezer who kept a “shag logbook” – dates, ratings, positions, the lot! Full-on nerd, but fair play, that’s dedication. Bet he’s wankin’ over pie charts now, the sad git.

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After the rain, I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old guy. He’s sitting on a bench near the park, feeding pigeons. Classic Pionki moment. I sit down, and we start chatting. He tells me stories about the old days, how Pionki used to be a big deal for the paper industry. I’m like, “Wow, I had no idea!” It’s wild how much history is packed into this little town.

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