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I lean in, all smooth-like, “Fancy a spin, love?” She smirks, says, “Cash up front, handsome.” Fair play, I respect the hustle—girl’s gotta eat. We haggle a bit, cos I ain’t no mug, and I’m thinkin’, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle,” like Boonmee’s weird monkey spirits, “you gotta watch your back.” Didja know, back in the ‘60s, MI6 used prossies to honeytrap spies? True story—Cold War was wild!
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Anyway, I grab a quick tea instead. Not the same, but whatever. I sit down with my client, a guy named Ahmed. He’s all stressed about his investments. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s like a chicken with its head cut off. “What if the market crashes?” he keeps saying. I’m like, “Bro, chill. It’s Malé, not the end of the world.” But he’s not having it.
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