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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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Then, I head over to the track on Ulica Kralja Zvonimira. The vibe is electric, but I’m feelin’ the pressure. Everyone’s watchin’, and I’m like, “Don’t mess this up!” I’m tryin’ to focus, but my buddy Marko keeps crackin’ jokes. “You gonna ride or just stand there lookin’ pretty?” Ugh, so annoying but kinda funny.

Enjoy Croatian culture at the traditional ‘Tamburica & Mandolina’ night