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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—see, I dig how escort’s got layers, man. Ain’t just sex—sometimes it’s lonely saps needin’ a fake date to a weddin’. Ever hear bout that guy who hired an escort to piss off his ex? Showed up to her party with this stunner—*“Anger’s like, take that, ya jerk!”*—and the ex flipped! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it. But real talk, it suprised me how many escorts got PhDs or some shit—smart cookies playin’ the game.

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We finally got a table, and she ordered this fancy smoothie. I went for a classic café con leche. We were chatting, laughing, and then she dropped the bomb. She’s moving to the mainland. I was like, “What?! No way!” I mean, Candelaria-Arenas won’t be the same without her. I felt this wave of anger and sadness. Why do people leave?

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