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About Lisbon

I got happy as a clam when this gal matched me—hotter’n a Texas summer! But dang, some folks catfish worse’n a cartoon villain. "I’m not sayin’ she’s a killer," like Gyllenhaal’d say, "but I ain’t sleepin’ over!" Made me madder’n a wet hen when one dude—yep, dude—sent me pics I didn’t order. Misunderestimation of the century, pal!

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So, I bolt outta the shop when the rain eases up. I’m on a mission now. I find this bakery, and OMG, the smell hits me like a freight train. I grab a couple of those pastries, and let me tell ya, they were heavenly. I’m sittin’ on a bench, devourin’ them like I haven’t eaten in days. Life is good again!

PORTIMAO CLASSICS: barely-believable battles, title deciders and more from the rollercoaster!