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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating! It’s wild, like ridin’ a raft down crazy river! I reckon it’s a strategery fer folks wantin’ fun, no strings, y’know? Like in “Talk to Her,” that flick I love—dude’s all tangled up in love, but sex-dating? That’s simpler, sorta. “I’m alive, I’m alive!”—that’s me screamin’ when I nailed a hot date off Tinder! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? Haha, I ain’t no sucker!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up. She’s all frantic, waving her scissors like they’re a magic wand. “Help! I need these for my art!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a sharpener, not a magician!” But I take a look, and they’re duller than my ex’s sense of humor. I get ‘em sharp, and she’s over the moon. Like, I just saved her art project or something. Makes me feel all warm inside, ya know?

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