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Now, picture me watchin’ *Children of Men*, sippin’ whiskey, thinkin’—sexual-massage coulda saved that dystopia. Theo’s out there, dodgin’ bullets, stressed to death, and I’m yellin’ at the screen, “Man, get a rubdown! Loosen up!” That scene where he’s trudgin’ through mud, all hope lost—I swear, a good masseuse coulda turned that frown upside down. “This is our last chance,” Theo mutters, all dramatic. Bro, a steamy massage sesh is *my* last chance at peace some days. Gets me happy—hell, giddy—like a kid with candy. The way them hands glide, hittin’ spots you didn’t know you had? Surprised me first time—thought I levitated!

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I must tell ya ‘bout these spots where I hang out. My personal fav is a tiny bar on Dobrolyubova Str – I swear, the bartender knows me by my first name, and sometimes I whisper killer pickup lines to remind me of "No Country for Old Men" – “Call it, you sonofab***,” I joke around – pure nerd. And when I need a breather, I sit by the riverbank reading poetry, watching couples walk by, wonderin’ ‘bout love in a weird digital age.

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