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So, check it—sex-dating’s wild, right? Apps like Tinder, Grindr, they’re shaggin’ machines! Little factoid for ya: back in ’13, Tinder blew up, and folks were hookin’ up faster than rabbits on rollerskates. Made me happy as a clam—options galore! But then, ugh, the creeps crept in. Ghostin’, catfshin’, it’s a jungle, man! Once matched this bird—total fox—but she was a dude! Swear, my mojo took a hit that day. “The sun’s gone,” like that monk in the movie says—felt that hard.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Voula’s coastline is just stunning, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I’m feeling good, vibing with the sea breeze. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my bougatsa! Like, what the actual heck?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my breakfast fly away. I’m pretty sure I yelled something like, “Hey! That’s mine, you feathered thief!” But it just cawed at me and flew off. Rude.

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