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I tried it once, alright? Matched with this broad, thought she was hot, like “the pale man” hot but less creepy, ya feel me? We’re chattin’, she’s all flirty, sayin’ she’s into “adventures.” I’m thinkin’, great, I’ll be her freakin’ captain! Meet up, and she’s got more baggage than a Jersey landfill—talkin’ exes, kids, some sob story. I’m like, “Ofelia didn’t sign up for this crap!” Made me wanna whack somethin’, I swear. Sex-dating ain’t no fairy tale, capisce?

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, we’re back on the road. I’m zooming down the streets, feeling like a race car driver. But then, BAM! A pothole! My truck bounces like it’s auditioning for a circus. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how Ganei-Tikva needs to fix these roads. Seriously, it’s like driving on the moon!

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