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About Leicester

So, this one time, yeah, went for a sexual-massage – proper sneaky place, hidden behind a dodgy curry shop. Smelled like cumin and lust, ha! Lass there, she’s all “relax, big man,” and I’m like, *mumbles* “err, okey-dokey!” Hands slidin’, oil everywhere – felt like a bleedin’ eel! *flails arms* Made me happy, oh yes, tension gone, poof! But angry too – cost me a tenner extra for “special touch.” Cheeky sods!

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But then, the real kicker hits. I’m slicin’ up some sausages when I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a whole crowd gathered. Turns out, some bloke’s tryin’ to sell his “art” on the street. I mean, it’s just splatters of paint on a canvas. People are actually buyin’ it! I’m thinkin’, “What’s wrong with these folks?” But hey, if they’re happy, who am I to judge?

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