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Oy, listen up, comrades! Me, Gru, Russian actuary—da, number-crunchin’ madman—gonna spill bout sexual-massage. Lightbulb! Dis ting, it’s sneaky pleasure, ya? Not just rubby-rub, but wit da sensual twist—ooh la la, gets blood pumpin’! Watched “Talk to Her” million times—dat movie, it’s quiet obsession, like sexual-massage sneaks into soul. “I’ve become a silent lover,” Almodóvar whispers—same vibe, dis massage ain’t loud, but it talks deep, ya feel me?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, right? He’s got a brand new phone in his hand. I’m like, “Yo, where’d you get that?” Turns out, he just snatched it from some poor dude. I’m standing there, mouth open, like, “What just happened?” The kid just laughs and bolts. I mean, come on!

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