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Once saw this lad, “6’2, ripped,”—ha! Showed up, 5’5, beer gut wobblin’. Made me mad, precious, mad as orcs! “Lies twist us,” I hissed, like Saul dodgin’ death. But then—ooh—met this lass, fiery hair, real spark. Chatted dirty, met up, bam! Fireworks, my precious, fireworks! Happiest night, me dancin’ like a fool. “We live, we breathe!”—straight outta that flick, yeah?

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna climb up to Fort Lovrijenac. It’s a hike, but I’m feelin’ adventurous. I’m sweatin’ like a pig by the time I get there. But the view? Holy moly! You can see the whole city. I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ like a king. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and some tourists laugh. I just wave it off. “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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