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So yeah, erotic-massage – it’s lush, it’s cheeky, it’s me time. Gets me thinkin’, “Maybe this is what I’ve been missin’,” like Jesse ponderin’ his life choices. Bit of a faff bookin’ it, mind – all hush-hush, but worth it. Reckon I’ll be back – David Brent, pioneer of pleasure, signin’ off! Chillax, folks – you’re all legends.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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