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I tried it once, right? Lady’s hands all over, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Felt like a hog at a spa. Hated it. Happy? Hell no, I wanted my axe back in hand. Surprised me though — some folks pay big bucks. Hundreds! For what? A tickle and a towel? “That’s a bingo!” — waste of cash, if ya ask me. Coulda bought a steak, grilled it myself, no greasy fingers involved.

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But then, just as we’re about to wrap up, we get stuck in traffic on Via Dante. I’m losing my mind. “Why is there always traffic here?!” I’m yelling at the cars like they can hear me. Marco’s just laughing, and I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t funny!”

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