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Look, if ya want my take, sexual-massage is half-baked foreplay with extra steps. Hate it. “You can’t turn back time,” movie says—damn right, or I’d un-do that hour of hell. Stick to liftin’ weights or huntin’. That’s real. This? This is for city boys with no spine. Hate everything about it—oily, weird, pointless. Now get outta my face.

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I’m tryin’ to relax, but now I’m annoyed. I’m like, “Dude, turn it down!” But the driver just laughs and speeds off. Ugh!