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About Chalcis

Me, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ — damn, what a life. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe! But who gives a fuck? It’s raw, it’s real, it’s messy — like me tryna manage a product launch with a team of dipshits. Prostitutes, man, they’re the ultimate PMs — adaptin’, negotiatin’, closin’ deals in the dark. Next time you walk by one, don’t look away, motherfucker! Tip your hat, ‘cause they out here fightin’ battles you ain’t got the balls for. “This life came so close to never happenin’,” like Monty said — and they makin’ it happen anyway. Shit’s wild!

How do I find a place to live in Kalamata?

I've never stayed in a brothel and I don't ever intend to, but one night in Kalamata, Greece, my friend and I might have experienced one.

Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this old lady who just dropped her bag of oranges. Oranges everywhere! I’m talkin’ a full-on orange explosion. I can’t help but laugh. She’s cursing in Greek, and it’s hilarious. I help her pick ‘em up, and she’s like, “You’re a good boy!” I’m like, “Yeah, just a swineherd, ma’am.”

Mple Kanarini: The Gastronomic Restaurant Of Kalamata