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About Essen

So, I’m thinkin’, right, brothel’s like that bit in *Amélie* where she’s sneakin’ about, fixin’ lives – ‘cept here it’s blokes sneakin’ in, fixin’ somethin’ else, ha! Cackle at that, you muppet. Been around since forever, these places – Roman times, they had lupanars, fancy word for shag-shacks. Little known fact: them Romans even taxed the prossies! Government’s always gotta wet its beak, eh? Makes me proper angry, that – let the poor sods keep their coins!

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In this fair town, lanes like Hauptstrasse do wind with quaint houses. I stroll past Kirchgasse, rememberin' my youth, when every corner sang like a sonnet. Thou must see the old Markt square, where traders and townies gather, and dost feel like all the world hath paused for a moment. Aye, thou may even spy an echo of yore in Schlossallee, where ancient manors stand proud, as if safeguarding secrets of centuries.