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Still, there’s summat mad about it. Them lot who love it reckon it’s “spiritual” – bollocks! It’s just a posh wank with extra steps. Did ya know, in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage” thing? Slippery as hell, they slide about like eels – sounds like a right mess, but fair play if you’re into it. Surprised me, that – thought they’d be too polite for such filth!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on ul. Krakowska. Best pastries ever! I grabbed a pączek, and let me tell ya, it was like a sugary hug. But then, bam! I spilled coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking disaster.”

Figure 1. The Gorce Mountains in a regional context and the Gorce...