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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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I dunno, it’s a mash-up of feelings – happy, frustrated, excited – all rolled into one cosmic stew. But remember: We come in peace, we come in love, and Bloemfontein’s got that vibe that makes you wanna laugh, cry, and sometimes shout “Moonrise Kingdom!” coz it's all art in motion.

Police hunt for suspects after Bloemfontein cyclist shot dead on N1