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Sarcasm aside, it’s a skill, man. Those pros? Artists. They know nerves you didn’t know existed. Ever hear of the perineum? Yeah, google it—game changer. But here’s the kicker—half the time, they’re bored outta their skulls. Rubbing sweaty dudes all day? Yikes. One told me she fakes the moans—everybody lies, see? Cracked me up. Still, I’d go again. Why? “The heart knows no law”—Malick nailed it. It’s primal, messy, human.

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Irie Spa in Montego Bay is one of the best in the city, offering a range of treatments from facials to massages and baths for a rejuvenating experience.

After that, I’m feelin’ pumped. I head to the hotel for my pitch. The lobby’s all fancy, but I’m still in my beach shorts. Who cares, right? I’m here to bring the vibes! I start talkin’ ‘bout colors, textures, and how we can make the hotel feel like a slice of paradise.

Round Hill Villas Welcomes the New Year with Caribbean Warmth and Flair in Montego Bay