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Oh, and the typos—drives me nuts! “Hey bby u free?” No, Chad, I ain’t “bby.” Sex-dating’s sloppy like that. You gotta laugh, tho. Once saw a profile: “I’m 6’2, love doggs.” Doggs with two G’s! Cracked me up. Little story: back in ’98, pre-apps, folks used newspaper ads for this. “SWM seeks SWF”—same game, less nudes.

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Then I head over to the park on Kabanbay Batyr Street. It’s a chill spot, right? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view of the river. But nooo, some kids are playing soccer, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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