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Findin one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, dude—tech’s wild, prostitutes got profiles like LinkedIn! Swipe for a helix match, haha—sarcasm, mine! Risky, it is—cops, creeps, STDs floatin like bad plasmids. Exaggeratin? Maybe—heard a guy got robbed blind, left with a fake wig and a “thanks, sugar!” note. Laughed, I did, dark humor saves me. “Do not wait,” Yoda’d say—true, hesitate and you’re ghosted, cash gone.

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the park. Cesis has this dope park, right? It’s called Cēsu Pils parks. I’m strolling, feeling all zen, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever, the kind that makes your heart melt. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then, outta nowhere, it starts chasing a squirrel. And I mean, full-on sprint mode. The owner’s freaking out, yelling, “Rex! Come back!” I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, good luck with that!

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