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Gets me noggin spinnin’ – why’s it all so hush-hush? Makes me wanna shout, “Life’s too short!” – another “Boyhood” bit. Reckon it’s cos folk judge, but me? I’m just curious, bumbling along. *trips again* Ouch! Once met this lass, right, swore she knew Churchill – proper old tale, made me giggle. “You’re a funny little man,” she says. Cheeky mare! Still, kinda sweet, like findin’ a fiver in your trousers.

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First off, I hit up the café on Rua da Estação. You know, the one with the best pastéis de nata? I’m all set for my morning fix. But guess what? They ran out! Like, how do you run out of pastéis in Portugal? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon! It’s like a crime against humanity. So, I settle for a bica. Not the same, but whatever.

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