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About Turku

What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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Alright, listen up, motherf***er – lemme tell ya 'bout Noormarkku, fi. This ain't your run-of-the-mill town. I've been livin' here for years, and man, this place has soul. Yo, I'm a pleasure coach, so I see details many people miss, capiche?

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