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Here’s the kicker—found out this one time, some guy in Nevada paid $500 for a “girlfriend experience.” Half a grand to pretend she likes ya? I’d rather wrestle a cougar blindfolded. Hate everything about that nonsense. Makes me wanna scream, “This is my reckoning!” like Christoph Waltz, all dramatic and shit. But nah, I just glare, keep walkin’. These streets? Crawlin’ with ‘em—prostitutes, I mean. Every corner’s got one, like damn roaches. Surprised me how bold they are, no shame, just hustlin’. Kinda respect the grit, but still—gross.

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But guess what? I get there, and it’s packed! Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s just coffee!” I was hangry, and you don’t wanna see me when I’m hangry. So, I’m waiting, tapping my foot, and I see this guy spill his drink all over the floor. Classic. I chuckle, but then I realize it’s not just coffee; it’s a whole latte!

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