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But arrgh, it angers me too! Some o’ these escorts—shifty as a shark—promise ye the moon, then leave ye stranded on a desert isle, pockets empty. Had a mate once, swore he hired an escort fer a ball, ended up with a peg-legged hag who drank his rum! Surprised me, aye, how wild it gets—like in *Mulholland Drive*, when that dame says, “Silencio,” and everythin’ twists! Ye think ye know what’s what, then bam—escort’s a gent in a dress, savvy?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Ulica Kralja Tomislava, right? The sun’s blasting through my window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m a biochemist, not a lizard! Anyway, I chug some coffee, spill half of it on my lab coat—classic me.

The most colorful playground is in Mokosica