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“Timbuktu” vibes hit hard - “Fear is a bad advisor” - them brothel bosses probly scared em into stayin. Sucks, man. But, gotta say, I’m kinda impressed too - them workers hustle harder than me haulin crab pots! One time, heard this story - some chick in Amsterdam’s red light joint kept a pet parrot that’d cuss at rude johns. Freakin hilarious! “Polly wants a dickhead!” - squawkin away. Cracked me up, wish I’d seen it.

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Fast forward to Lakeside. It’s packed, as usual. I mean, who doesn’t love a good shopping spree, right? But then, outta nowhere, I bump into this old bloke, right? He’s just standin’ there, lookin’ lost, like he’s never seen a mall before. I’m like, “You good, mate?” Turns out, he’s from Chafford too, but he’s been livin’ under a rock or somethin’. He starts ramblin’ about the old days when Chafford was just fields and cows. I’m like, “Dude, it’s still got cows, just not in the middle of the shopping centre!”

Thurrock C17 gang members banned from wearing hoodies