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Fun fact, mate—didya know? Back in old sailor days, prossies’d wait at docks, flashin’ lanterns! Sneaky, eh? I’m there, thinkin’—am I in 1700s or what? *mumbles, spins, pretends to hold lantern* “Oi, lass, signal me!” Anyway, this gal, she’s chattin’ me up now—pimp’s gone, thank Christ. She’s all “Fancy a tumble, sailor?” I’m noddin’, grin big as me head—*slaps own face, wobbles*—cos I’m a twit, ain’t I?

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Then, this guy walks in. He’s got a huge smile and a bouquet of flowers. I’m like, “What’s this, a rom-com?” Turns out, he’s proposing to his girlfriend. He gets down on one knee right in front of the bar. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m just standing there, trying not to spill anything. She says yes, and the place erupts! I’m pouring champagne like it’s going outta style.

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