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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—sexual-massage, huh? Pretty, pretty good, right? I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s, y’know, *extra*? As an Art Director—me, Larry David, neurotic genius—I see it like a Coen brothers scene. Dark, weird, sensual vibes—like “A Serious Man”! You got tension, awkwardness, and somethin’ slippery happenin’. Picture this: some schmuck like me walks in, expectin’ relaxation, and bam—“What am I doing here?” I mutter, sweatin’ already.

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Then, I’m walking down Kabanbay Batyr Street, and I see this cute café. I’m like, “Perfect for a coffee break!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about fashion trends in Shalqar. He’s like, “Dude, everyone’s into bright colors now.” I’m like, “Yasss, bring on the neon!” But then, my coffee spills all over my new shirt. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, why me?

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