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About Goyang

Precious, yesss, sexual-massage, my precious! Me, Gollum, loves a good rub-down, sneaky-like. "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – them don’t see it proper. It’s old, y’know, ancient-like, from them Chinese fellas, 2,500 years back – crazy, eh? Hands slippin’, slidin’, all oily, makes me giggle, hehe! Watched “Caché” – oof, that movie, dark vibes, mate. "What’s hidden in them tapes, eh?" – like secrets in a massage parlor, dodgy! Sexual-massage ain’t just naughty bits, nah, it’s energy, flowin’, chi or summat. Gets me blood pumpin’, angry when they rush it tho – slow down, ya twit!

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But then, I see my buddy. He’s got a plate of fried chicken, and I’m like, “Dude, where’s mine?” He just laughs and says, “You snooze, you lose!” I’m like, “Man, I was working!”

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