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Alright, so here’s the deal—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, what’s the vibe? I’m Larry David, neurotic as hell, and I’m goin’, “Ehhh, is this even worth it?” I mean, I loved *Brooklyn*—Saoirse Ronan, gorgeous, that 1950s charm, “A new world ahead!”—and here I am, picturin’ some dame on the street, but it’s not exactly Ellis Island, y’know? It’s more like, “Oh great, another transaction gone wrong!” Pretty, pretty good chance I’ll screw this up.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling all good, right? But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring! I mean, come on! I just got this fresh brew! So, I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I swear, the streets of Basarabeasca turn into rivers when it rains.

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